All Stalkers Unite!

[Psst. Sista Beavah. This is to kickstart the creative genius in you. GET WRITING.]

CEPT:
So, uh, you're *looks down at palm* Nathaniel Oscar Jacob Alexander Carnabie? [I hope I got that right.] Wow, that's a mouthful. Anyways, I'm Bryan Chun. Yeah. Just Bryan. Chun. Nothing special...
ANYWAYS.
The thing is, I'm not too enthusiastic about this whole "bonding through characters" thing either. I mean, I just got dumped by this hot girl named Ria--
Donut: "It's not called getting dumped if you were never dating!"
--SHUT UP, DONUT! Ahem. Anyways, I got turned down by this hot girl named Ria, but it's all good. After Donut and I stalked her at the place she works...I mean...oh, come on. Donut's the one who brought binoculars. He thought it all up. I swear. The point is: Ria's my friend again. Kind of. The only thing that could go wrong now is if she starts dating somebody again!
Oh wait. She is.
But that's not the point. The point is...oh wait, I already stated a point.
The OTHER point is: now I've got to worry about Donut and his whole Make Cept the Fish King plan, and he's dragged Ria in it because she wants revenge on her ex-boyfriend who's a Pokemon, and then there's the whole My Son Should Be Focused on His Schoolwork Even Though He's Failing It thing with my dad and...
And...
And you don't even care. Or understand what's going on at all.
Okay.
Sorry.
I guess I'll let you talk about your quarter-life crisis now. Well. Eighth-life. Kind of.
Okay whatever. Just talk.