I felt compelled to post the entire song, because the entire song is amazing.

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

[Chorus:]
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

[Chorus (repeat)]

- "Kiss Me", Sixpence None the Richer

I don't know why...

...but I still don't like this blog template.
I mean, yeah, I've tried to put up with it, but it's flowers. Flowers. I'm a total non-feminine-ish-feminine, except when it comes to dresses. I actually like dresses a lot. Then again, that's the epitome of feminine. Why am I typing in italics?

Anyways, could we at least change the blog title? (I hate to sound picky and all, but PLEASE.)

DAM IT ALL,
BEAVER

Ha. Hahahaha. Muahahaha.

I'm doing Quote of the Day.
In yo' face.


"It's easy to blame ourselves, but it's even easier to blame Apu."

Double duty. Yeahh.

Blame someone else and get on with your life.
  - Alan Woods

And song lyric of the day (sorry)...


"15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live"
- "100 Years", Five for Fighting

I love Pandora.

"We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?"
- "Meant to Live", Switchfoot

Sorry, I'm just hearing all these amazing songs!

Now I don't even know.

She speaks!
No, I'm not going to slice your uterus with a pencil. 
It'll be with a pen. 

Alright, joking aside, I really do appreciate your input. 
Yeah, I realized that my attempts at writing scifi/fantasy sucked charmander butt. 
Hey, I'm a gen fic type of gal. 

As far as the I'M A BEARD thing goes, it's because...well, you do know what a beard is, right? Not the piece of hair on a mans chin, but basically a person who makes another person seem non-gay. Why they're called beards I do not know. 

I don't really have a plotline for the last one. It's basically...it's really personal. So I guess I could use references to my own life? I don't even have a plot for it. 

And yeah, FR3AKS is mega tacky. Sorry man. 

Dr. Dildo in the hizzle.

Here to offer my sage words of wisdom.
Sage.
Ferr shurr.

Anyway, I love your two gen-fic ideas.
Because I'm just that kind of person.

I'm a Beard and Other Crazy Stuff I've Gotten Into, though, I'm not keen on.
I'm not talking about the idea, I'm talking about the title.

Firstly, "and other crazy stuff I've gotten into" implies that whatever was before the 'and' was the same type of thing.
I know I must sound like a doofus but like yeah.
'I'm a beard' is not a 'stuff.'

I  hope that makes sense.
What I'm trying to say is, it just sounds wrong to me.

And... well, it sounds very middle school to me. Like there's going to be a seventh grader who thinks her life is oh-so-fracking dramatic and has to be Abraham Lincoln in the school play while juggling an annoying younger brother and a traumatic life that doesn't include, like, going to the, like, mall, like, every, like, Saturday. 'Cause her parents are, like, so cruel.
Like seriously.

And, while I'm at it, that seventh grader wears sparkly pink Converse sneakers and neon colored skinny jeans.
Gag.
Me.
With.
A.
Spoon.

I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, I love the idea.
But what I don't get is why her boyfriend is her boyfriend when he's gay.
I mean, wouldn't he just say, "I'm breaking up with you because I'm kind of sort of not completely heterosexual. It's not you, it's me. I hope we can still be friends"?


I also love And Then She Fell.
It's so... awww.
Less than three.

But what's up with the major cheese of the title and the "And then she fell" {cue Beethoven's Fifth} in the pitch?
I'm just sayin'. Again.
I say a lot.


Now...
I hate to say this, but I'm not exactly a fan of Hades and Fr3aks.
Please, remember that I say this with all the love and tenderness of a pedophilic serial rapist.
But.
Yeah.
Hate them.
No offense.

First, the title Me and My Father, Hades.
It's pre-middle school.
It's fifth grade.
And isn't the plot a tad bit like Percy Jackson?
I haven't read PJ, but Wikipedia is making it out as having a few similarities.

With Fr3aks...
Well.
I don't want to say it's cliché, but the whole, "Ohmipalin, you're not normal, so we, as the government, will give the title of 'freak' and try to eliminate you, fo' realz" thing is putting me off. Big time.
And it sort of reminds me of Witch and Wizard.
Which was awful.

And is the 3 necessary?
I mean....
It's a bit tacky, no?
Just a bit.
Like when eight-year-olds pluralize everything with a 'z' to be like 'rockstarz.'
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THE CLIQUE GIRLZ, DO YOU?
DO YOU?

It reminds me of that one book on inkpop, Quant3m.
Never read it because of that 3.

I admit that I read Th1rteen R3asons Why, but there was a reason for the 3 in there.
And it was accompanied by a 1.
That's uberawesomesaucetasticalness right there.




So, those are my thoughts in wholly honest form.
Please do not slice through my uterus with .7mm pencil lead.
If you're going to do any uterine-slicing, at least have the decency to use .5mm.

NaNo help!

DISCLAIMER: My pitches suck to no end.
Like, they suck, man.
You have been warned.
(Oh, and same goes for the titles.)

Me and My Father, Hades
Fantasy, Mythology, Comedy, Romance

“What?” I bellowed. “There’s more children?”
Hades lifted his head, remorse clear in his eyes. “Yes. Yes, there are. Six others, all across the United States, are in danger of crossing those portals. God forbid they end up here in the Underworld.”
I scoffed. “I don’t think God has anything to do with this.”

Atlanta Gold never thought that her sixteenth birthday present would be the identity of her father. She definitely didn’t expect him to be Hades, king of the underworld.

Now, before she knows it, she’s on a quest—thrust onto her shoulders by Dad of the Year—to close six portals in cities across the United States. Not to mention that she needs to do so before the six children which the portals “belong to” find out that their father, the “abusive, runaway man” or the “mysterious gent who left at midnight”, is actually watching dead people disintegrate in the Earth’s core.

Now all she needs is a stalker boyfriend who won’t stop texting her about their last night together.

Or maybe not.

[12/17/09 HADES]



I’m a Beard and Other Crazy Stuff I’ve Gotten Into
Gen Fic, Romance, Comedy

Here’s a piece of advice: Never, ever, ever ever ever, try to kiss a gay guy.
They’re just so dang good at it.

Kayla Michael-Williams has an amazing boyfriend. He brings her candy on Valentine’s, roses on her birthday, and even went so far as to get a giant teddy bear when she won the school talent show. But there’s a catch (isn’t there always?):

Kayla’s boyfriend is gay.

The list of Worst Possible Scenarios piles on as her best friend insists on dating yucky guys, her parents are heading towards divorce, her grandmother’s gone a little crazy—oh, and her aforementioned gay boyfriend happens to be in love with her twin brother, Chad. Add on the fact that finals are looming ahead…and that cute guy in Am Lit is starting to look very, very interested in her.

What’s a poor beard to do?

[ROUND ROBIN 1/28/10]



FR3AKS
Sci Fi, Romance

This month is Mazkery, which means Living Death in our language. We, the banished part of civilization, call it “The Month of Hatred”. That’s what it is—hatred.
Hatred, towards me.

Ginger Carmine is a Freak, and the government is bent on eliminating her.

It’s the month of Mazkery. Ginger’s life is, yet again, put on the line as she bears through thirty days of solitary gloom—just as the government likes it. Forced to wear gas masks and suits protecting her from the gases left over from Zakinera, a disaster from nearly sixteen years ago that involved human cloning, she’s clearly marked as a danger to the human species.

This year, though, Ginger meets someone who, despite their “differences”, genuinely seems interested in her. And when he starts becoming more and more friendly, how much will Ginger allow before “too close for comfort” becomes deadly?

After all, she is a Freak.

[2/19/10 ROUND ROBIN]



And Then She Fell
Romance, Gen Fic

True love is overrated.
Except when it comes in the form of a next-door neighbor.

Lauren Li never saw it coming.

She never thought that when her family moved into the little white house with the dark blue shutters, she’d manage to like the guy next door. Lauren had always been against clichés—who in their right mind would follow something everyone else did? And liking the guy next door was such a cliché. So she tried to convince herself otherwise, that Pete Huber didn’t exist, that he didn’t have amazing dimples, that he didn’t make the best bus-waiting partner in the world.

For eight years, it kind of worked.

For eight years, she stood next to him through rain, snow, sleet or hail, waiting for the bright yellow school bus. For eight years, her gaze wandered to the window across the yard, where she could spot the slight silhouette of a masculine figure. For eight years, she jumped on the blue trampoline in the neighbor’s backyard with the same one-year-her-senior boy.

And then she fell.


Sorry for the weird formatting...
And ignore the note things at the bottom. That's for me. 
Help me choose one? Or maybe they all suck? I DUNNO.

This has amused me to no end today.

"Debra Jackson said she likes shopping at the Dollar Palace because it is convenient and casual.
'I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something,' she said..."

I know it's an old quote but still.
It's like that Debra woman read my mind.

Yeah, I think that's going to become my new inspiration quote to live by.
In fact, I even made a TWLS post about it.
That's how darn special it is.