I just got a call from my fish bowl counselor.
Alright, so maybe that's not very on-topic, but it works for me. So ha.
Okay, so fish bowl is this freshmen orientation thing on August 20, and it's basically a meet-and-greet dance. The day before, the 19th, you get your schedules and stuff. Fish Bowl is a term I'm most probably going to use instead of "Freshmen Dance" in Cept.
Thank you, real life, for giving me inspiration.
But anyways, the fish bowl counselors are all seniors who sound very awkward on the phone. Mine, a guy, said "Uh" too many times, and I almost laughed out loud when he mentioned "package". I don't remember why.
I'm pretty sure that while I'm over here making fun of him, he's making fun of my responses.
HIM - And so on August 20th, you'll come to school from six to nine, but please arrive at 5:45...
ME - [thinking] Oh my god, I'm pretty sure this is the only time a 12th grader is gonna call me deliberately to tell me something other than "I hate your guts". What do I say? Do I giggle? Just simple Yes and No's? What?
HIM - ...so that's what's gonna happen.
ME - Um. Crap! I ruined it. What do I say now?
HIM - And on the 19th, you'll--
ME - Okay. Agh! I spoke too late. Or early. Whatever. What now?
HIM - Uh...yeah, and so on the 19th, you can...
ME - What is he saying? Should I even say anything else? Compliment him? What? "Your voice is nice." Right.
HIM - ...and remember, I'm your fish bowl counselor so feel free to ask me any questions at fish bowl.
ME - Crap, he's waiting for me to say something. Um...uh...something cool...I'm a cool person...Alright.
HIM - Um. Yeah. And we'll blah blah blah blah package blah blah blah...
ME - Don't laugh. He just said "package". Nothing funny about that. Nuhhhhhhhhthin' funny at all.
HIM - ...so I'll see you there.
ME - He's waiting again? What am I supposed to say? Alright. I already said that! Brain, think of more creative responses!
HIM - Uh, okay. Thanks.
ME - Thank you! I SAID THAT TOO LOUD. WTF.
HIM - Buh-bye.
ME - [frantically hanging up the phone]
My life, ladies and gentlemen, in a blog post. Please hold the applause for when I run out of amazing posts. Meaning when I die.
*Ba dum CHING*
Sigh.
I'm pathetic.
DAM IT ALL,
BEAVER
I'd like to believe that before you started messaging me, you'd have found nothing funny about "package".
ReplyDeleteI just want to think I'm an inspiration, okay?
My perverted mind started developing seventh grade when a boy by the name of Kevin Xie was placed in my advisory class...soon, he and Levi Waters began the That's What She Said games.
ReplyDeleteSo blame them.