I need help from Sista Beavah's oh-so-creative mind.

So I'm stuck. Here's the excerpt, and I'll fill you in on details later...
Agh, some of the italics didn't work. Whatever.
)()(
What I hate the most when I enter the cafeteria on Monday is not that Donut looks up at me with a devious look in his eyes, or that my designated seat is littered with food crumbs the janitors forgot to clean from last block lunch, or even that the big chalkboard menu at the pick-up food line says Meatball Mystery that guarantees at least one mole hair from Lunch Lady Gladys. No, it's that Ria and Jimi are sitting at my lunch table. Together.



Sitting. Together.


Together.


"Hey, uh, what's up?" I greet them as I approach the table, trying to mask the sound of my heart breaking. "Yeah, um, good lunch today? Huh? Cool, right? Yup."


Ria gives me a funny look and says, "Who tied your balls in a knot?"


I cough to mask her obscene joke and reply, "Nobody. I mean, they're not even relevant. But okay, if you wanna talk about them, go ahead."


Jimi gives me an equally weird look and chuckles. "Seriously, dude, what's wrong?"


"Nothing!" I burst, which blows them back a couple feet, and I clamber over to Donut's side.


"Phase One of King Cept: LAUNCHED," Donut hisses to me.


"I don't even want to know," I mutter and sit down. "Do you have an Oreos? I need some sugar."


"Sure thing." Two seconds later, there's a package of Double Stuf Oreos directly in front of me, and my mouth attacks it like a lion in front of a gazelle. Which is, I suppose, semi-accurate since I'm trying to be a King anyways.


Ria clears her throat and smiles at me. "I need to tell everybody at this table something."


I look at the three guys sitting here--me, Donut, and Jimi. Wow, what a big Everybody.


"Uh, I'm--"


"Dating Jimi Hendrix here, we know," Donut states lazily, waving a hand at her like she's yesterday's news.


I choke on my Oreo.


"Gaaaaht?" I manage to sputter between coughs.

And then Ria does it. She shoots me the look.



The Pity Look.


Honestly, if there's one thing a guy should dread in his lifetime, it's The Pity Look. Because it's not a look of hatred or resentment, which actually counts as passion, but it's like you're so pathetic that a girl actually has to comfort you.


But anyways, there I was, noon on a dreary Monday, and the girl who'd turned me down with the "I'm not ready for a relationship" turd/excuse was announcing her new relationship with a guy named after a rockstar.


Donut looks at me. His Oreo's inches away from his mouth, ready to be eaten. "Um, I didn't call you last night and tell you?"


"No!" I yell.


His eyes widen. "Meaning...I didn't tell you about Phase One either?"


"NO!" I yell louder.


Ria laughs. "Wait, so Bryan doesn't know what's gonna happen?"


"No, I thought I gave him a call, but I guess--oh wait, Sonny with a Chance came on and I needed to..." Donut stops midsentence. "I mean, I was watching wrestling. Sorry."


"Um, guys, what exactly is going to happen?" I ask timidly, glancing around the cafeteria to see if a chorus line is about to pop up from behind the lunch counters.


Donut shakes his head. "You shall know in time, young one."


I glare at him and throw Ria a pleading look. She shakes her head. "In time, grasshopper, in time."


Jimi nods his head. "Yes, in time."


"What?" I yell. "Jimi knows, too? How did he even find out?"


Ria looks at me sheepishly.


"Oh, right," I mutter. "The 'Couples Tell Each Other Everything' rule."


"Actually," Ria argues, "couples don't actually tell each other everything, since--"


But before I get to hear what she probably thinks is a convincing point, 
... 
)()(
Alright, there's where I'm stuck. Basically, Donut's trying to make Cept "Fish King", which is basically like homecoming king but...for freshmen/fish. But what's his "Phase One" of the plan? How does he advertise it in a grandeur way?
Help.